just did it

Yes, bad blogger me.

Well, I just registered Miss Bee for kindergarten. Hoo boy. I can't believe I'll be all by myself next year. And I can't believe what a big deal I'm making of all this. I only say that because for the past 2 years or so, I've imagined (even daydreamed of) what it would be like to go grocery shopping, do volunteer stuff at the elementary school, go visiting teaching, go to dr. appointments, etc.; without a little shadow. And I imagined it would be GREAT! But all of a sudden, I find myself a little wistful. Actually, this started when she turned 5 a couple of months ago, as you might have noticed if you tuned in 2 or 3 posts ago.

I'm a little surprised. I don't remember feeling this way at all when the boys went to kindergarten. I was so ready for a break I practically put a boot to each of their hineys on their way out the door. Maybe it's because it's (probably) the last time I will register someone for kindergarten. I don't know, but I found myself thinking about the weirdest little things as I filled out the forms. Like how long it had been since I'd done this (okay, only 4 years, but it still seems like a long time) and how different this time was: how the first 3 digits of her SSN were completely different than the boys' (but the last 4 are exactly the same as Flip's, only switched around), that I answered the question "What would you like the kindergarten teachers to know about your child?" from a very different perspective than with her brothers, and that I got to check the "F" box instead of the "M" this time.

So get over yourself, pianogal, you're saying to me in your head right now. You'll enjoy the freedom. Take a nap, for heaven's sake. Hey, I even got a "congratulations" from the PTA lady at the sign-up desk, who knows Miss Bee is my last kid. And I will, don't get me wrong. So why am I waxing reminiscent about something that hasn't even happened yet, and come to think of it, how can I even use the word "reminiscent" about it? Am I the only one this happens to?


Jeff said...

I am totally proud of you for being diligent with your motherly duties. Double helping of mother's day goodness for you hopefully :-)

I was a little taken aback when you mentioned the 1st was going to be graduating to middle school soon. I still remember when you would bring him downstairs to sit on my bed and he was in diapers.

Having had a lot of free time to myself lately, I remember feeling like I always had to have a little project to work on or try something new. Kudos for you and your volunteer and service opportunities ideas. I only have had a few of those lately and I miss them.

Janet said...

O.k., I'm a little jealous. However, I can sort of understand why you feel the way that you do. I think it's a big thing when we turn that page that puts us into a new chapter of our lives. There is excitement about what lies ahead, but there is also that desire to hold onto what is right there, what is familiar and comfortable. I think we all want our children to grow up, but then we'd also like to keep a version of what they were like when they were little around just for old times sake and for comfort too. Thank goodness for summer vacations for us to get our fill of our children so we can happily send them onto the next thing. Does any of this make sense? :)

Larissa said...

Wow! She's already five? I remember when I babysat her once while you went for a dental appt. I think she was about 8 months old then. Pretty crazy! I love reading all your cute little posts...I know I've said it before but I wish I could write and express myself as well and fun as you do!